Ha Ling, AKA Muppet Mountain

Some years ago, Ha Ling was reclaimed and renamed from 'Chinaman's Peak', to reflect the name of the first ascentionist, who startled the Canmore populace with his ahead-of-the-times ascent of the mountain in around five hours, from Canmore town site. Was this merited? I don't object, but I'm not convinced by the sentiment; there must be plenty of Englishman's Peaks, Bays, and Points around that cling to their monikers in the frothing seas of political correctness, without challenge. Whatever - with so many pointless civil servants getting their names on our local hills, I suppose any move to reflect the efforts of those that first explored them must be worth supporting.

After a trip up Ha Ling on a sunny summer's day (my mistake - days like this were made for hike-a-bike misadventures), I descended with the impression that it might be time to rename this mountain to reflect the values of modern society. After some consideration, I believe that "Muppet Mountain" would be appropriate. For some reason (convenience, at a guess - it can't be just for the Tim's at the top) this trail has become the place for everyone who you wouldn't want to meet on a trail (apart, perhaps, from Vanessa Feltz and Dale Winton, unless they could pay for a sedan chair ride up the trail, with 'Hello' coverage) to congregate. Profligate litter droppers, shrieking and swearing pale-faced spotty youths with their backsides hanging out of their jeans below Nickelback-clone band T-shirts, people tossing rocks down the face despite climbers topping out nearby ("Haha - look at the signs! No rock throwing! Take a picture of me dropping this one!"), and others adding to the graffiti on the summit slab....and then there were the jaw-droppingly ignorant conversations. It would have been funny, if it was showing on Jeremy Kyle during the daytime, and not in the heart of the Canadian Rockies. We diverted to Miner's Peak, which in one hour hosted three visitors apart from ourselves. Perhaps two hundred people sweated and swore their way to the Ha Ling summit block during that time. Not one of them made the detour to the far better viewpoint on Miner's. It must have been my grumpy old negative waves pushing them away. Oh well, I can dream. It never works on the bus in the morning when the guy that hasn't washed for more than a month is looking for a seat.....

Masses of people on a trail is one thing (and in some ways a good one - it beats being a couch slob), but I'm left wondering what they got out of their day on the hill, apart from sore legs, sunburn, and a photo of their names scratched into the rocks. Yes, I mean you, middle-aged mom and otherwise apparently intelligent daughter. Was my first impression ever so wrong?

On reflection, Muppet Mountain isn't truly reflective of the situation.....so "Fraggle Rock" it is. Watch out for the renaming petition coming your way. I'm sorry, Mr. Ling, because your first ascent achievement was awesome, and I am humbled and awed by the effort you must have expended (twice, to silence the disbelievers), but the mountain you aspired to climb has been claimed by others. And they're making a bloody good job of ruining it for everyone.